Long Gone
by xAriesx
Summary: Korra has been going through a lot after she lost her ability to walk. Through all the struggles and hardships she has been through, she begins to wonder if her life is worth living anymore.


***I just had to type this story! I've been a little bored lately with my usual chapters, so I decided to get an old idea I have had for a long time. Enjoy!***

It's been one year.

 _One year_ since Korra was bound to a wheelchair. She _specifically_ said she would only be gone a couple of weeks.

And now, look where the supposed ' _couple of weeks'_ lead to.

It made Korra mad. It made her depressed. It made her an emotional mess.

Her friends were out, protecting the world, saving people, helping people. Korra couldn't help but be madly jealous of them. Doing all of those things were _her_ job. Not theirs.

Even the new Air nation, which barely had any master recruits, were serving the world more than she has lately.

However, she couldn't help _but_ to feel angry. Every enemy that she has ever faced has made an attempt to strip the Avatar title away from her. Although it was only a title, it was a title that gave her strength. It gave her pride. It gave her confidence. It was _truly_ her whole life. Her whole world.

And now, people who use to be her friends. People who she thought of as family were now slowly taking the title away from her.

How could _they_ do this to _her?_ Slowly sucking away everything she had worked for, everything she put work and pride into. To them, it probably was just as easy as taking candy away from a baby.

She basically was a baby, she couldn't even walk. And if she did walk, it was only maybe one or two steps before she collapsed to the floor, over and over humiliated in front of people who now had fake respect for failed Avatar.

Letters upon letters filled her bedroom floor, letters she wish to not respond to. Letters she did not wish to read. Korra didn't want pity from anyone. She wanted her self-worth back.

She didn't want to read the letters from her once-friends on how well they were doing, and how much they were helping out.

 _She already knew all that stuff._

Korra _knew_ she was depressed.

Was she ever going to alert someone?

 _Absolutely not!_

More pity meant more respect lost for her. She had to keep what she had left, and bottle it up. She needed to save it. Treasure it. Keep it until she decided she was done with it all.

Korra was laying in her empty, cold bed one night. When, a horrid thought invaded her mind the first time since she lost her bending.

' _You would be better off if you killed yourself.'_

It scared Korra. She never meant to let such a disturbing thought intrude into her head. Korra quickly brushed off the thought, going to sleep in order to clear her head of the awful thought.

But as time went on, the thought became more and more consistent. And, it showed it's true colors in many different ways.

It got to the point where Korra could no longer suppress the thought, or the image that intruded into her mind. It got scary when she was afraid she couldn't be able to resist the urge to do whatever popped into her mind.

She no longer wanted to be close to spears or knives. She was afraid she couldn't resist the urge to stab herself, or hurt herself in some form.

She also no longer had motivation. She was always tired, and preferred to stay in her bed and sleep all days instead of working on her walking exercises, or even interacting with people. Infact, whenever someone came to check up on her, she got very irritated quickly.

A quick knock on her door interrupted Korra's depressing thoughts. Before she had time to say anything, someone came strolling through the door.

It was the main cook, or chef, or whatever she was. Korra honestly didn't care to know her. Infact, this lady came to check up on Korra A LOT. It annoyed Korra to extremes.

Was it _really_ too much to ask to be LEFT ALONE?

"Ms. Korra. Would you like to join at this evenings meal?" The annoying lady said.

"No, thanks. I am not that hungry right now." Korra said as politely as she could, though anyone with a brain could hear the slight agitation in her voice.

"Please excuse me, but I really do think that you should join us. You have not accepted a meal today, or yesterday. You haven't eaten in almost two days. In order to get better, you must eat." The lady said, crossing her arms as if Korra did something wrong, making it seem like a warning.

Korra thought about it. It was true. She hasn't eaten in basically two days. And, if she were to be completely honest with herself, she wasn't hungry _at all._

"I'm fine. I am actually not that hungry right now." Korra said with more agitation apparent. Couldn't this lady see Korra was giving her a warning to _go!?_

"Then, would you like me to bring your meal to you, since you do not feel that awake right now?"

' _This lady doesn't know when to stop!"_ Korra thought, now very annoyed.

"No." Korra said, not wanting to waste her breath in someone who was too incompetent to just _leave her alone!_

The lady finally somehow picked up on the hint. She clasped her hands together, "Very well. I will see you tomorrow Ms. Korra. Enjoy the rest of your evening."

Korra nodded, and _finally_ the lady left the room.

Korra was left alone to a dark and silent room, the way she wanted it to be for _at least_ the rest of the night.

But as usual, her parents came to tell her goodnight, their concerned faces silently asking Korra what was wrong.

' _Wasn't it obvious what was wrong?'_

Korra pretended to ignore their silent questions, acting as if she did not notice.

Korra said the last goodnight of the night, and was _finally_ going to be left alone for at least the next eight hours.

Awful thoughts and images flooded her mind instantly. It was too much of an emotion burden.

Tears were let loose from her eyes, trailing down her face.

She did not know they were there.

Physically, she was drained. The long hours of work, trying to gain back the ability to walk again. It was exhausting. Especially since she had to keep doing the same failure over and over again _every_ day, just to come to the same disappointing reality that she was getting nowhere. She was wasting her time with all this. Yet, what could she actually do about it?

She could do nothing, really. She was working as hard as she could to get better, but apparently she wasn't working hard enough. Even though she had no more energy to do all of this anymore.

Emotionally, she was more than drained. Emotionally, all feeling she had left in her was squeezed dry, and she could feel nothing anymore.

 _Nothing._

Yeah, that was the perfect description. There were several days when Korra would feel _nothing._ And she wanted so badly to feel something. Even if it was just depression, at least she would feel something, instead of feeling blank. Empty.

But, those days, just like her intrusive thoughts, became more consistent day by day.

 _There was no escape to this._

Korra felt so trapped. She didn't _want_ to tell anybody. She would be perceived even more as a failure. But, if she didn't tell anyone, she would be put through this never ending cycle of depression, and never ending pain. She felt as if a boulder has fell on her, and there is no way out.

So, should she just let the boulder smoosh her until there was nothing left? Or, did she take care of her misery herself?

Korra didn't really know. Infact, all if her thinking once again drained her dry.

She decided to call it a night.

Her eyelids fluttered closed as she drifted off to elsewhere.

 _Elsewhere was much better._

She woke up the next morning, finding disappointment as she awoke back into the depressing world.

As usual, she lay there in her train of thought. A knock on the door once again, interrupted her and her thoughts. She was so close to giving the lady a piece of her mind. That was, until Katara opened Korra's bedroom door.

"Would you like to begin this morning's exercises?" Katara asked, her sweet voice brightening the room more than the sun that spilled in through the windows.

Korra nodded, as she pulled herself into the wheelchair next to her bed, being wheeled towards the healing room.

"When you feel ready, we will begin." Katara said patiently, taking a sip of her tea.

"What's the point? We have been at this for almost a year and a half and I can barely take a couple of steps without collapsing." Korra said bitterly.

"If you could just-" Katara was interrupted as Korra got temperamental, "If you could just do this, if you could just do that!" Korra mockingly imitated her former waterbending teacher.

"I'm tired of being told to do this, or do that. No, you're doing that wrong! Here, try it this way. I am so tired, Katara, so so tired." Korra openly admitted.

"I know you're tired, Korra. But trust me, if you strive to get better, you will. In time. You need to take it slow so you can make a full recovery, and come back stronger than ever." Katara said composedly, ignoring Korra's flare-up.

Korra nodded, not very impressed with the lack of motivation Katara induced.

Korra soon enough got close enough to the bars, and grunted as she forced herself up, only using the strength of her arms to hold her up.

She shakily took the first step, struggling to stay upright as she did.

She then tried her second step.

This one did not go so well.

Her leg suddenly gave collapsed from her weight without warning. She crashed to the ground, stretching her arms out infront of her in order to lighten her fall.

Katara kneeled down infront of Korra.

Korra covered her face in shame.

"I'm done for today." Korra muttered.

Later that night Korra's depressive thoughts sparked in her mind like a wildfire.

Korra thought what her life was like before she became immobile. She thought of her friends, whose letters she had be purposely ignoring.

She could not gather the courage up to talk to anyone, let alone her friends of her struggles.

In some weird way, she wanted _someone_ to notice. Anyone.

However at the same time, she didn't want to share the burden that was in her with everyone else.

In all honesty, she didn't know what she wanted anymore.

She couldn't walk, she couldn't dress herself, she couldn't cook, she couldn't do anything useful anymore.

So, if she couldn't even perform any useful tasks, how could she do any better at being the Avatar?

Simple answer: she couldn't.

So maybe, just _maybe_ , her life was not worth living anymore.

Over the next couple of weeks, Korra's suicidal thoughts were becoming more common. She also was isolating herself to her room more and more, pushing the ones that loved her away from her.

And when someone would ask, "Are you doing fine?" Korra would look at them and give them an artificial smile, telling them, "Yep!"

Lying has never been _so easy._

Being alone had also never been as easy as it is now. She filled her time with thoughts. Now, all her thoughts had become was ways she could kill herself. She knew it wasn't right, and she knew her thoughts were warning signs, but no one would care anyway.

She's heard stories of ways people would treat depressed people. Telling them ignorantly, "Just look at the positives!" Or, "People have it so much worse than you."

She didn't know how much worse it could get. People would say, "Suicide isn't the answer." However to Korra, it seemed like the best solution. The only way out.

Korra considered self-harm as a way to cope with everything. But she dismissed it. Not because she thought it was ridiculous, but only because if she was suffering from both extreme emotional _and_ physical pain, what was the point of making one a little worse than the other?

Crying before use to give her temporary relief, but it didn't do anything now. As a last resort, she turned to sleep in order to escape from all the hurt, all the loneliness she had been experiencing. She slept all day now. It was wonderful, she could go hours without anyone interrupting her. She could sleep as long as she wanted. She was tired almost always, anyway.

"All you need to do is breathe." Katara said, waiting patiently for Korra.

"I am pretty sure that's all I can do." Korra said, clearly irritable.

Korra felt slowed down. Like the world around her was slowly, day by day, coming to a stop. It made Korr even more frustrated, because she felt slowed down, too. She couldn't do things efficiently, and whatever she did do was done much slower than usual. That is, if she could even finish whatever she was doing.

Korra lacked concentration. If she was actively doing something (Which was not often), she would have trouble completing the task at hand. She would easily become distracted by anything and everything around her, or would move on to something different, never completing the task she had started.

"If you're trying to kill yourself, don't slice your wrists horizontally. Instead, do it vertically so they can't stitch it up."

Korra heard this from two teenagers outside her window. One of the brothers was basically telling the other to kill themselves. The brother said, "Shut up!" And threw a snowball at the other, who was laughing.

What the clueless teenagers didn't know, is that someone actually took the advice a little too seriously. Korra took it to heart, and she reminded herself of the tip almost everyday.

As the days dragged on, and everything got much darker and much more slower, suicide become the best idea to escape.

One night, while Korra was at her desk, she decided to write a letter.

 _Dear Mako,_

' _Sorry I have not replied to your letters before. It's just been… very rough for me these past two years. It doesn't seem like I am getting any better. Hopefully, I will start making progress soon. Hopefully I can see you, Asami and Bolin soon. Love, Korra.'_

Korra took a risk and put the ' _Love, Korra.'_

Korra still truly did love Mako, she even said it when she and Mako broke up. And, she always stuck to her words. Mako was her last resort.

The next morning she sent the letter.

It took weeks before she received a letter back. She contemplated on whether or not to open it. She eventually did, slowly ripping the envelope and taking out a single folded piece of paper.

She shakily unfolded the paper, flattening out the creases.

' _Dear Korra,_

 _I'm glad you responded. Currently, Bolin, Asami and I have been busy building Republic Cities infrastructure. I, however have been focusing on my job. Lin promoted me to detective, and I have been on the ball. I'll try to talk to you more when I get the chance. I have been pretty busy. Regards, Mako.'_

She slowly put the letter back into the envelope, lazily sealing it again and throwing it in the trash bin.

It was useless. Nobody could see her pain, and nobody would've cared.

She didn't care anymore. She was done. She was done with life, in general.

That same night, she knew for a fact that her life was not worth living anymore. She was going to kill herself. She gave it a lot of thought.

Now it was the Earth Kingdom's turn for an Avatar.

She also gave a lot of thought on how she could go about this without being caught. She knew tomorrow that Tonraq, her father, was going hunting for more meat. Their food supply has been scarce lately.

Her mother, Senna wasn't going anywhere tomorrow. That's where Korra was stuck on what to do.

The next morning, Korra was nervous as she sat down and ate breakfast with her parents.

Tonraq finished breakfast first, hurrying as he needed to get ready for his trip. He packed several things. On second thought, it was Senna who had packed many thing for him, wanting to be safe and sound while he was gone for a few days, taking one of his buddies with him to forage for meat.

Tonraq soon left after he finished breakfast. He kissed Senna on the lips passionately, then moved to Korra. He kissed her on the cheek and said, "I love you sweetie. I will be back into a couple of days." Korra smiled genuinely as it was the last time she could feel her father's lips against her cheek. It was the last time she could feel his safe hug around her, and the last time she would feel loved by her father. It was her last time _seeing_ him.

"I love you too dad." Korra said as she kissed her father back on the cheek, and hugged him. He left the embrace too soon, pulling away from Korra. He left them as he went to search for his buddy so they could start on their trip.

Korra and her mother sat there in silence, the clanking of silverware filling the empty room.

Korra suddenly had an idea, "So, have you been going to those healing lessons lately?" Korra asked as casually as possible.

Senna sighed, "No. I don't think an old woman at my age needs to master skills like that. I had my chance, and I didn't take it."

"You never know if you might need to save someone's life. The skill could be useful to you, even as an old woman." Korra joked.

"I'm not sure. I'll go to the next lesson, bit if it doesn't work out, I am officially giving the small youth I still have up." Senna said, laughing

Korra rolled her eyes, enjoying the small time she had left with her mother.

Korra lay in her bed that night. Tomorrow, Senna was going to the lesson. Around noon.

Korra was sneaky today, finding one of her father's old daggers. It was usually used to cut the blubber off of seals in order to get the meat.

It was perfect.

Korra also knew that she had to do it _right after_ her mother left. Her mother was going to healing classes after all.

She knew she had to cut vertically, she would bleed out faster, and it could not be stitched up. Her mother also couldn't heal it.

The only possible way that Korra could be saved was if she was caught immediately after cutting her arms, and she was still breathing.

And she made _very sure_ that she wouldn't be caught.

Korra replayed the plan many times in her mind until she eventually fell asleep.

The moment Korra woke up, it was go-time.

Korra looked in her closet for fresh, clean clothes. She struggled as she dressed herself. She did her hair nice and neat, making it perfect. She decided to keep her shoes off.

She wheeled herself out of her room, eating breakfast calmly as she talked to her mother one last time.

After breakfast, they both did their own thing until Senna had to go only a few hours later. Korra was laying on her bed, and suddenly jumped when Senna yelled, "I'm going to the lesson! I'll be back soon hun."

"Okay mom! See you later." Korra said, her heart pounding from the sudden amounts of adrenaline flooding her body.

Korra wheeled herself out to the dining room only a few minutes later to make sure that Senna had left.

Korra quickly took action.

She wheeled herself to her room, grabbing the dagger out from under her bed. She set it on her lap as she wheeled herself to the nearest bathroom, closing and locking the door as soon as she got in. She took a minute to calmly breathe and gather herself. She looked in the mirror at herself, and saw a tear trail down her face. She shook her head. 'No turning back now.' She kept telling herself.

She turned on the bath faucet, setting it at the right temperature. She watched, mesmerized as it filled the tub.

She didn't turn off the water.

Instead, she lifted herself from her chair, forcing herself to settle into the water, calmly taking the dagger and clenching it.

She stared blankly at the wall, crying. Tears trailed down her face, and dripped into the pool of water.

She had enough.

She looked down at her left arm, which was resting on the edge of the bathroom.

Korra took the dagger, and slowly pressed the cool blade up against her arm. First, she felt the coolness of it. Then, she felt the pain as the dagger went into her skin. She slid the dagger across her arm. She choked back a scream, stopping halfway across her arm as she took deep breaths. She was now hysterically crying now.

She continued on, pressing the dagger deeper into her skin as she slid the blade across the rest of her arm. She screamed, choking from the pain. She gasped for air, making loud, uneven breaths.

Blood was turning the once clear water into murky, red water. Blood poured out of her long cut, freely waterfalling into the water.

She shakily took the dagger from her hand, pressing the cool blade into her other arm and letting it sink into her skin, dragging the blade across her arm. She screamed in agony, tears blurring her vision.

She dropped the dagger in the water next to her, letting it sink ground, and took long, shaky breaths. She choked as not enough air filled her lungs.

Once she felt like she could breathe, she let her head rest against the back of the tub. She breathed deeply and calmly, tears leaving streaks as they snaked down her face.

5 minutes passed, and her vision was starting to become more and more blurry, and it was not from the tears. 10 min past, and she was sitting in crimson red water. Her breathing was starting to increasingly slow.

15 min past, and Korra shut her eyes. Her muscles relaxed. She was starting to become unconscious.

Only minutes later she was unconscious, and only a few minutes more after that, she took her last breath. Her chest rose and took one last gulp of air, and exhaled it.

"I'm back hun!" Senna yelled as she walked through the door. Senna heard the faucet running from the bathroom. "Are you taking a bath, Korra?" Senna yelled over the noise of water crashing.

No response.

"Hello? Korra?" Senna yelled, confused.

Once again, no response.

Senna walked towards the bathroom. She became confused when she saw water on the floor. Water, water everywhere! Senna knocked on the door, "Korra? Korra, what are you doing? Theres water all over the damn floor! Korra, come on."

Senna opened the door. And her eyes widened as she saw her daughter, her only child sitting in the bathtub, surrounded by blood infused water.

"Korra! Oh my, Korra no."

Senna tripped as she ran to the bathtub, she fell on her knees. She lifted her daughter's head, "It's okay sweetie. You're fine, you're fine." Senna said, even though she was only trying to reassure herself.

"SOMEBODY! HELP! SOMEBODY." Senna yelled as loud as she could, choking back tears. She hugged Korra close to her.

Luckily, somebody walking near the house heard Senna's screams.

"Hello, is everything alright in here?" A young into the igloo.

Senna heard them, "HELP! HELP, PLEASE! GET THE HEALERS! GET SOMEONE!" Senna yelled, hugging her daughter tightly. The clueless young woman walked into the bathroom, shocked of the scene that was in front of her.

"PLEASE! GET HELP! NOW!"

The young woman hesitated, but soon obeyed, running out of the house to the healers igloo.

\- Two weeks later -

Mako woke up early in the morning, getting ready as usual for work. He set down his coffee on the table as he sat back on the chair to read the day's newspaper. He read an article on the seasonal winners for Probending tournaments, and read about the new council members.

Mako flipped the newspaper around, and his attention was immediately caught by big, dark letters.

' _The search for the next Avatar begins.'_

Mako's eyes went wide. His heart began to thump faster. This couldn't mean what he thought it meant, right?

Mako jumped as a loud crash filled the apartment.

Mako looked oved to the doorway to see his brother, Bolin had swung the door open a little too forcefully, and a little too fast.

Bolins eyes were wide. Bolin held up the newspaper to Mako, which read the title ' _The search for the next Avatar begins.'_

"WHAT IS THIS SUPPOSED TO MEAN _!"_ Bolin screamed, thoroughly confused.

"I read that too! There's no information. What do we do!" Mako said, looking at Bolin as he held up his own newspaper.

"Have you guys read this morning's newspaper?" The voice caused both of the brothers to jump. Asami appeared at the doorway. She had a clear worried expression.

"Yes we have." Mako answered her.

"Please tell me it is some hoax that some stupid teens came up with to prank everyone." Bolin begged.

"People do post hoaxes all the time in the newspaper." Asami agreed, trying to reassure everyone.

"There is only one way to find out. We need to talk to Tenzin." Mako said. Bolin and Asami nodded, and they all ran out of the door. It was an unusually rainy day, and rain pounded down on all of them as they got on the ferry that goes to Air Temple Island.

The three of them got off as fast as they could, and they all bursted through the door on the family, who were all sitting down eating breakfast.

The three airbender kids got up joyfully, running over to the three and hugging them all.

"Company!" Ikki said, clearly excited as usual.

"We weren't expecting you." Pema said, standing up to peel her kids off of the three.

"Jinora! Meelo! Ikki! Back at the table." Tenzin said, standing up.

The three children sighed, sitting back at the table.

"Hello Mako, Bolin, Asami. We weren't expecting you." Tenzin said, nodding politely at the three adults.

"We uhm- would like to talk to you about something. What does this mean?" Mako said, holding the newspaper up to Tenzin.

Tenzin took the newspaper, and read the title. He sighed, pinching his nose. "I would like to talk about this in private. Let's go somewhere more secluded." Tenzin said, as he and the three adults headed out the door.

They went to a dorm on the other side of the island. It was a dining room for all the air acolytes and white lotus members.

They all sat down, and Tenzin put the newspaper on the table, sighing.

"A couple of weeks ago, something unfortunate happened to Korra." Tenzin said, pausing. It was as if he could not say anymore.

"A couple of weeks ago, Korra committed suicide." Tenzin said, stinging like venom as the words left his mouth.

Everyone's heart dropped. All their jaws dropped, too.

"What- What do you mean!?" Bolin asked. He was just too stunned to soak up the information.

"Korra, from my understanding, got into the bathtub. She then proceeded to cut both of her arms with a dagger, and she bled to death. She was found only an hour later, but she was already gone by then. She had lost too much blood." Tenzin said, regret was noticeable in every word he said.

Everyone was too stunned to say anything. Minutes went by, and Tenzin let everyone gather their emotions before continuing on.

"Believe me, I was just as stunned as all of you are. I only found out yesterday morning." Tenzin admitted, putting his head down, as if he had been shamed.

"I think it would be kind to give you this back, Mako." Tenzin said, handing him a ripped envelope.

Mako looked at it, confused. He took out the letter that was in the envelope, and read it.

"This was a letter I sent to Korra a few weeks ago." Mako blindley stated, looking up to Tenzin for an answer to a silent question.

"Yes. Korra committed suicide only two days after she received this letter from you. We found it in her garbage bin. We believe, after reading the letter that Korra sent you, she was silently trying to ask you for help." Tenzin confessed.

Mako's heart dropped even more. So, basically, Korra killed herself. And it was all his fault.

"So, Korra killing herself was basically my fault." Mako stated, blankly staring at the letter.

Asami put her hand on Mako's shoulder. She shook her head, "Mako, there was no way you could've known. Don't blame it on yourself."

Mako shook his head, "No, I will blame it on myself! If I had just taken a few more minutes, just to write a few more sentences to her, she would still be here. If I had _cared,_ she would still be here!" Mako said, his voice cracking.

Tenzin shook his head, "It is no one's fault. No one could've known. Korra's death was no one's fault."

"I should leave soon. The council also needs to be informed about Korra. We can all talk later, it would be nice." Tenzin said, nodding as he stood up. Mako, Asami and Bolin all nodded back to him silently. Tenzin left the room, shutting the door softly.

It was several minutes of agonizing silence. Mako suddenly stood up, walking out of the room as well. Asami and Bolin followed him.

They followed him outside, and they all stood under a tree, sheltering them from the harsh rain.

"Korra's death still could've been prevented." Mako said finally.

"Maybe it could of, maybe it couldn't of. But it's no one's fault, Mako. Not even yours. Even if you think it is, it's not. Please, try to understand that!" Asami pleaded.

Mako began to cry. He covered his face with his hand. Asami hugged Mako tightly, as she stuffed her face into his shoulder, also crying. Bolin joined in, crying as he rested his head on his brother's shoulder. He hugged his arms around both of them.

They all mourned over Korra together, helping each other through it.

"Let's go home." Asami said grabbing Mako's and Bolin's hand, and started to head for the Air Temple.

Mako and Bolin looked at her, confused.

"What do you mean?" Bolin asked as he wiped tears from his eyes.

"This is the place that I, Korra and you guys lived together in. We have been through alot, and this is the place we truly became friends, and we were there for eachother. This, is the place I truly consider home." Asami said.

Mako and Bolin nodded, and they all walked back to the Air Temple, hand in hand.

 _They were truly at home._

 ***I am really proud of this story. I hope you enjoyed it, I spent a lot of time, and put a lot of energy into making this story come to life. Please leave a review, it helps greatly!"**


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